Welcome to Poly in the Media

Dear Friends,

Are you a polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous person who wonders “where can I find representation of my love in the media?”

Have you read or seen something recently and though “wow, there could be a really great essay on the polyamory themes in this piece?”

If so, this blog is for you! After years of wanting to read all about the polyamory implications of some of my favorite media, I finally decided to be the blog I wanted to see in the world.

Here, you can read about some of my favorite:

– representations of poly in the media

– intentional misinterpretations of media to fit a poly narrative

– my cherished OT3 (One True Threesome) fantasies

– excessively scholarly analysis of polyamory themes.

For a while, I’ll just have placeholders as I fill things in.

I ALWAYS welcome comments and suggestions. I cannot promise I’ll read/watch/post the media you suggest, but I want us to use the comments to really spread the word for other people looking for representation.

And it took me about two days in to this blog to realize that there is already a polyinthemedia.blogspot.com. Thanks to Alan for maintaining that blog which I will definitely follow. If your interest in media is more in the news, go visit Alan! Here, we’ll cover more the pop culture angle.



Polyam Villainy in AHS Stories – Drive (2022)

Of course, American Horror Story and Stories is full of villains, so it’s no surprise some may be poly. Although I haven’t taken the time to do a full write-up yet, AHS did have a very interesting portrayal of an accidental triad in Season 2: Coven. Today I’m going to focus on AHS Stories Season 2’s episode 3, “Drive.” Spoilers below.

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Oh my goodness!

Hi y’all,

So, I’ve been aware for a while now that I haven’t been posting… and so I put it on my to-do list to at least log in and delete the blog, wrap it up, what have you. But then I did log in, and I see a pretty active audience. Wow and thank you! I will try to get some posts in here and there. I don’t have anything developed today, but I can share with you some brainstorming about future posts.

I had some notes to talk about “The Cultish Personality” episode of Raising Hope.

I also had some notes to talk about American Horror Story: Asylum, which has some really sweet moments and then ends tragically, as so many of the representations we’ve looked at here sadly do.

In the meantime, I don’t know if I’ve picked up on many representations to talk about. I have been watching a lot of Star Trek, which uses polyamory as a marker of cultural diversity and, interesting, a way of humanizing non-human characters. This trope seems to arise in a number of sci-fi serials, and may be worth its own post.

The Expanse features several polyamorous relationships, although none are particularly central to the storytelling. That in and of itself is rather nice, however.

Sense8 is worth unpacking for several reasons. The premise of the show is that a group of 8 individuals around the world are psychically connected, and many a seen concerns how the individuals navigate romantic and sexual relationships while also having these psychic connections. Moreover, there are several three-person relationships of various types.

So, I will try to be around, I will try to update a little bit.

And hey, like, I hope y’all have been as OK as possible throughout the past few pandemic years.

Poly Villainy in the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018)

I just finished watching the first eleven episodes of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and it’s time for my (minimally) spoiler-y review below the cut. In short, polyamory is not a major plot point of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina but it is repeatedly dropped in as a way of characterizing individuals and communities as villainous. Even the possibly “good guy” who is poly-friendly seems to moving towards a monogamy-redemption arc, or at the very least is self-hating about it. I have to be honest, the level of vitriol aimed at polyamory and other forms of non-monogamy in this show was seriously difficult to watch.

Continue reading “Poly Villainy in the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018)”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

Ok everyone, as promised, I did finally get to see Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, a 2017 film, and I am going to review it for you. This also implies a bit of a review of Jill Lepore’s book The Secret History of Wonder Woman (2015). No spoiler tag here as it’s real life and there’s nothing particularly spoiler-y in the film. So just stop reading here if you don’t want to know more.

As I’ve talked about on this blog before, the creator of the comic book character Wonder Woman was named William Moulton Marston and had one legal wife (Elizabeth Holloway), one other woman who lived with them all the time (Olive Byrne, niece of Margaret Sanger), and a third woman who lived with them sometimes (Marjorie Wilkes Huntley). Holloway and Byrne each had two children with Marston. They all lived together. Elizabeth and Olive lived together for decades after Marston’s death.

Here is the very abridged version of how, according to Lepore, the three adults of the main family unit came to live together, which for a while seemed to be the dominant quotation from Lepore, floating about.

Marston had given Holloway a choice. Either Olive Byrne could live with them, or he would leave her. [….] Holloway was devastated. She walked out the door and walked, without stopping, for six hours, thinking.6 [….] Elizabeth Halloway Marston, a New Woman living in a New Age, made a deal with her husband. Marston could have his mistress. Holloway could have her career. And young Olive Byrne, trained in the science of psychology, would raise the children.24 (p. 118-123).

A quick glance around the internet shows that this quotation isn’t so dominant right now, which I’m glad of because I’ve always been a bit suspicious of the story. See those superscript numbers? Those are footnotes, and they explain that the source for this information is Margaret Sanger Marston Lampe – granddaughter of Margaret Sanger and wife of one of Marston’s kids who went sleuthing and uncovered the family secret decades after these supposed events took place. I’m not saying for sure she’s wrong, but I am saying that if it sounds a bit like an origin myth, there’s a reason for that.

There are things I like and things I don’t like about Lepore’s book. It’s certainly the most complete story we have. It tells of the family’s involvement in a cult of female sexual power, which is fascinating but not too fantastical (such groups were not unheard of in this time or even earlier in US history, and indeed had some connections with polyamory). It unpacks the feminism and gender roles of the time, and the division of labor within the household. It chronicles the patchy employment path Marston had, and the ways in which Holloway and Byrne earned much of the money for the household. I also like the attention paid to Huntley as a member of the family, who is often not mentioned in most reports. It’s complex, and I appreciate that.

On the other hand, Lepore doesn’t consistently respect her sources. While she takes this interview with Lampe at face value, she also blatantly balks at Holloway’s version of the events as to why Harvard didn’t grant her a Ph.D. (“Holloway was either lying or misremembering”, p. 59). The tone of her book is ambiguous. Sometimes she favors the unconventional family arrangement and other times not so much. In general, she paints a portrait of it that is perhaps harsher than it needs to be. And yet, I appreciate that she doesn’t cut Marston any slack as he seems to have had a habit of hitting on his students and that’s an abuse of power, so I’m reluctant to see him as all good.

The film by Angela Robinson, on the other hand, might tell a bit too rosy of a story. Specifically, Robinson picks up on the love implied to be between Holloway and Byrne (they kept living together, and some sources suggest they were in fact sexually and romantically involved while others deny it), and the film is really more of a movie about their relationship which Marston mostly happens to be in (except a really contrived part where he has to bring them together because they love each other and he wants to make sure they have each other even if they don’t have him). There’s a lot to like about this approach and interpretation. The women might still have been more open about their relationship with a man than their relationship with each other, and this story might be erased and need more attention. But it downplays Marston’s potential exploitation (again, that Lepore might have in contrast overplayed), and it downplays the division of labor mentioned above. Sure, Holloway is seen working and Byrne meets her at the door and takes her coat in a Normal Rockwell-esque scene. Holloway’s “deal” (one wife at work, one wife at home) is cut, which I’m glad of because of the reasons mentioned above why I find it problematic, but sad of because it glosses over an important economic reality. Not only did Holloway work outside the home, but Byrne wrote a Family Circle column from within it (in which she interviewed Marston as though they didn’t live together). I don’t think we see any of this detail in the film.

On the other hand, the film has a nice scene early on with Holloway ranting about Harvard’s lack of respect for her, and debating on the merits of Radcliffe versus Harvard. This nuanced conversation which is otherwise irrelevant suggests to me that I’m not the only one who was annoyed by Lepore’s treatment of this topic!

There are several notable absences. Huntley isn’t in the film, which is a bummer but I understand it makes it a very complex story. The cult of female sexual power isn’t in the film either (although there is a bondage club, briefly, but it’s not at all the same thing). There could be more Wonder Woman, honestly.

Of course, it’s a film and it can’t do everything. However, I would have rather had a film about these things than some of the drama we did get in the film, which I saw as contrived simply to follow the narrative rules of a romance. A lot of attention is paid to an early boyfriend of Olive’s. He has some good one-liners, but it’s not as interesting as everyone meeting at Marston’s aunt’s house to talk about how women should rule the world and have lots of  sex. The neighbors find out and the family kind of splits for a while, which I’m pretty sure didn’t happen and isn’t as interesting as simply presenting the layers of lies told about the family even within the family (to Olive’s children who thought their father, named William K. Richard, was dead — at least according to Lepore). Obviously they reconcile and we end on a nice note about Wonder Woman, but some deeper exploration of gender politics and the Comics Code would have been more welcome in my opinion.

And yet, I would still recommend watching this film. It’s a sweet poly love story and period piece. Maybe Lepore’s version is too sour and Robinson’s is too sweet, and the truth is surely somewhere in between. And I’m still uncomfortable for the fact that this is all family secrets that some family members didn’t want this talked about, but here I am talking about it anyway.

A few things about William Moulton Marston

Hi everyone,

My media consumption in general has been rather low lately, and even the things I’ve intended to write about I haven’t had time. But you didn’t come here for my apologies or excuses, you came here for some reflections about William Moulton Marsden, author of the first Wonder Woman comics.

Jill Lepore wrote a book about Marston recently, called The Secret History of Wonder Woman. I keep promising to write a full post about it, but this post is not that post. In brief, however, Lepore tells the history of Marston’s romances with his wife Sadie Elizabeth Holloway Marston as well as with Olive Byrne and Marjorie Huntley. The former two women lived with Marston and raised children with him; they later lived together for years after Marston’s death. The latter woman lived with the family intermittently.

Well I have two things to say about it today. One is that if you do not already know, Angela Robinson is directing a film about this family, called Professor Marston & the Wonder Women. It has just recently arrived in my town, and I cannot wait to watch it! As far as I can tell, the movie does not talk about Huntley at all, which is a disappointment to me. At any rate, if you’re interested in this blog, you’d probably be interested in this film.

The other thing I want to say today is just to quickly point out the CBS-now-CW television series Supergirl features Lynda Carter, who famously played Wonder Woman in the 1970s TV show, playing the US president. Cool on many levels! They character’s name, however, seems like a clear homage to the creator(s). President Olivia Marsdin evokes both Olive Burne and William Moulton Marston. I got a real kick out of this, but I’ve surprisingly not seen much acknowledgement of it around the fandom blogosphere (in comments yes, but in the main text, it seems to be overlooked). A very interesting nod!

iZombie – “Brother, Can You Spare a Brain”

Here we go again, another crime/legal drama where the victims and suspects are in an open and honest non-monogamous relationship, and the main characters grapple with and/or argue about whether or not women are ever really OK with non-monogamy.

Crime/legal dramas and other episodic format shows in some sense lend themselves to exploring whatever the hot topics of the day happen to be – and polyamory certainly is one – because they rely on short, one-episode stories and each need to be different. It’s not like polyamory is the only topic these shows explore, they explore every hot topic under the sun and moon, but I’m beginning to be bothered that so much of the poly fiction that is out there is legal dramas makes me think there is a toxic trope of associating polyamory with criminality. Not all of the legal dramas are murder mysteries – in one, the crime being investigated is literally bigamy, and that makes perfect sense – but there seem to be an awful lot of murdered non-monogamous people and murdering partners of them.

iZombie is a crime drama, but also, you know, a zombie comedy… about a zombie who works in a morgue, eats the brains of the recently deceased, and gets flashes of their memories, dreams, habits, and personalities. So there’s that.In Season 1 Episode 2 of iZombie, “Brother, Can You Spare a Brain” (2015) features a murder victim of the week who our zombie hero quickly realizes had a lover. The detective she works with insists that the wife must have killed the husband after discovering her lover. However, the wife did not “discover” any such thing. In fact, she introduces the detective to the lover!

This is my dear friend Tasha. She is my favorite of all of Javier’s lovers.

The detective questions the wife, pushing to hear her secret discomfort with non-monogamy. She describes their relationship lovingly, notes that she herself has “dalliances,” and that asking her husband – an artist – to have only one lover would be like asking him to paint only tourist postcards. As she describes it, her husband’s art, sex, and passion are all intimately intertwined. Artsy and poly go hand in hand. The detective isn’t buying it, and asks her if it bothers her that her husband’s art – his “babies” – are nudes of other women. She snaps back, “It bothers me that you are being dismissive about my husband’s art and our marriage.” Burn!

So what happened? Who dunnit? Was it the wife? Find out below the cut.

Continue reading “iZombie – “Brother, Can You Spare a Brain””

Orange is the New Black has more poly characters in Season 5, Episode 4 – “Litchfield’s Got Talent”

We all remember last season’s introduction of a poly character which turned out to fall into the trope of polyamory as a mark of villainy, especially sexual villainy. Ugh.

That character’s polyamory still features. We see her husband and her boyfriend, who love her and seem to love each other. The word “compersion” is used and defined (somewhat poorly, but whatever).

Of course, Orange is the New Black explores a wide range of relationships, and I already noted last season that there were other situations that could be ready as polyamorous in the broadest sense of the word even if that term was not used. Episode 4 (2017), however, much more explicitly played some of the other inmates relationships against that of the explicit polyamorist. Read more (& spoilers) under the cut.

Continue reading “Orange is the New Black has more poly characters in Season 5, Episode 4 – “Litchfield’s Got Talent””

Riverdale – “To Riverdale and Back Again”

Quick hit and quick question: is polyamorist a word? This is technically a spoiler for Riverdale (Chapter 11), although an extremely minor one, so I’ll put it behind the cut. Riverdale DID expicitly reference polyamory in its premier season, but amazingly NOT with respect to classic OT3-ship Archie-Betty-Veronica.

Continue reading “Riverdale – “To Riverdale and Back Again””

Poly as a mark of Villainy – The Walking Dead Season 7

Below be spoilers. Above be spoilers. Spoilers spoilers spoilers.

Not substantive ones, but still – the past few months when I was not caught up with the Walking Dead I felt like I had to avoid the whole internet. Now I’m caught up, and I have something to say. It’s not a pretty something. Below the cut for spoilers of Season 7, Episode 7, “Sing Me a Song” (2016)

Continue reading “Poly as a mark of Villainy – The Walking Dead Season 7”

Tom Smith – “Bermuda Triangle”

I’ve written about a Tom Smith song before, but today I was reminded of a much older song that also deals with a more-than-two shipping, of a combination of historical and fictional figures. In the 1997 song, “Bermuda Triangle,” the narrator settles down with Amelia Earhart. He describes  meeting her where he has crashed in the Bermuda Triangle and the grand party going on there:

Who’s that walkin’ on down the line?
It’s Amelia Earhart, she’s lookin’ fine,
She said, “Hey there, big boy, wanna go flyin’?”
I said, “Oh, mama, get me to the church on time!”

Bottle of wine, wheel of cheese,
Amelia on my lap and my hands on her knees.
She said, “Hey, now, my boyfriends’ll be back soon,
The Swamp Thing and the Creature from the Black Lagoon….”

However, this description is not to warn the narrator off. As he later describes:

And I’ve been found in the Bermuda Triangle,
Ain’t nothing ever been so right,
I’m playing poker tomorrow with Ambrose Bierce and Che Guevara,
And Amelia’s by every night.

While shipping Amelia Earhart with the Swamp Thing and the Creature from the Black Lagoon is of course fiction, a fan-ship OT3 of sorts, the plot has some basis in reality, as our friend polyinthemedia.blogspot explains over at Polyamory in the News. Correspondence from Amelia Earhart to her eventually-husband George Putnam show her negotiation for what we might call an open marriage, one in which through honesty the pair can avoid any “difficulties […] should you or I become interested deeply (or in passing) in anyone else.”

Lovely all around.